The Comparison Game, I can safely say that all of us have been there. There have been moments where we questioned the places God is going to take us because we are looking at someone else’s success. We’ve wondered why that girl seems to have it all figured out and she looks really good while doing it and then asking God why we can’t do the same. Maybe we’ve been in a season we never hoped to be in and compared it to someone’s amazing season, while wishing we were in their seasons. We’ve mentioned comparison before, but I want to speak on to find freedom- true freedom when it comes to comparison and how I found myself slipping away from the comparison game!
Recently, I started to compare myself to someone else, where I realized comparison took place because I believed she had something I wanted. I started to think she was better than me, more talented, and equipped that I could ever be.
Wow, I know I just spilled my heart out, but I know someone else has felt the same. We look at this person’s highlights of life and compare it to the valley moments of ours.
I began praying about this area of my life because it’s not something I wanted to continue to hold on to.
God spoke to me this:
“Let comparison go to the wayside because it is not in the kingdom.”
Comparison is not in the kingdom of God, it never was and it never will be. God the creator of all; made everyone uniquely different, for your call and your purpose. No two people will ever live the same exact life, so then, I can conclude we should never compare ourselves to someone else.
I think we tend to compare because we feel as we’re lacking in some way. If only we had ____, we can do the things God called us to do. If only we carried _______, then can we truly find joy and our lives would be great. You can fill in the blanks with what you can imagine and apply it to your own life.
I can tell you this, you my dear, are created in the image of God, find confidence in yourself! God didn’t mess up when he made you, find comfort in knowing that you are uniquely different for your own purpose in life.
It’s easier said than done, but once we start to see our God in the way he desires for us to see him- to see that he’s good, he created us for a wonderful purpose, and he loves us the way we are. Then we can fully grab the truth, to be confident in who we are! I know the root of lacking confidence is insecurities. We think we're not good or capable enough. When we fight through the mess of our insecurities we can seek true confidence.
I found this to be easier once I accepted who I am. What that looks like is taking a journey of self-discovery. I began to realize how I am, what makes my heart jump in excitement, what my characteristics consistent of, and despite the areas I needed to work on, I truly started to love myself!
I may sound a little cheesy, but let me explain. My heart on my sleeve is an understatement, I feel things so deeply and to the point, where I wished to not be so emotional. I realized God made me that way for a reason. I now appreciate that I can really feel deeply when someone is sharing what’s on their heart and compassion hits. I work hard towards the things that I have a passion for, making people feel important and cared for is dear to my heart, and I find joy in the small things, even if it's rolling the windows down and screaming my lungs out with a friend to our favorite song. Don’t worry there’s some traits that are really not so good. I can tend to overthink, question situations, can be a little sassy, and as my friends call it “Jenny you have an alpha personality." They explained that I can tend to be controlling, it’s my “get it done” personality within me. Of course, I’m working on the areas that I know need work on. But I appreciate and love myself for who God created me to be. There's different special traits that make up who you are and excited about that! There’s power, strength, and peace that comes with a healthy self-identity.
When we finally understand to love ourselves and accept the ways God created us to be. I think we can fully step into our purpose. God has called you to be you. The uniquely, wonderfully and fearfully made, and no one like you, YOU! See the things that make you who you are and start to love them, with the reassurance that God made you that way. That's exactly what I had to do, to step out of insecurities and a lack of confidence!
When we find a healthy self identity we don’t compare ourselves to others because we know who we are and we won’t desire to be anyone else. When we’re confident in ourselves, we don’t try to get the approval of others or try to climb the “ladder of success.” God opens doors for us because we’re so fixed on doing our own thing and being content with who we are. I can speak for myself, don’t waste your time trying to be someone you’re not, to please man, to care so much about what others thing, and to continually compare to someone else’s success. I can promise you that God will open the right doors in his timing. Continue to focus on God and what he has called you to do and see how doors that you never dreamt up, swing up. See how you’re confident in yourself and you will find joy and genuinely be able to celebrate others. Now that is in the kingdom of heaven.
God doesn’t want you to be anyone else, but yourself. Take the journey of self-discovery and find out who you really are, don’t hide behind a mask- pretending to be someone else. While discovering yourself, learn to love yourself and the amazing, unique traits that God has given you. No one else can live your life, live yours to the fullest!
Find freedom from comparison, God desires so much for your life. Don’t be held back because of insecurities, doubt, worry or anything else that steams from comparison. By being confident in who you're created to be, you can live a life that celebrates others, desiring to uplift others to the cost of having them be better of than yourself. When we find freedom from comparison, the success of others isn't intimidating, but rather seeing it from the perspective that God is doing something amazing in someone else, and we can rejoice because it is adding to the kingdom. Focus on who you are and the path God is taking you on! I promise it's fulfilling to love yourself!
Find freedom from comparison darling, you’re wonderful! I know God thinks so too!