The Heart Behind Peace
1. freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.
 synonyms: tranquility, calm, restfulness, order, harmony, quietness
What a hard word to live out. The biggest quality I've lacked this past year has been peace. Life has been stormy, unstable, ever-changing and inconsistent the last 8 months and I've been fighting harder than I ever have in my entire life for peace. Not just ordinary peace though, heavenly peace, Godly peace, supernatural peace. The kind of peace that can put you to sleep on a boat in the middle of a furious sea-storm. The kind of peace Jesus had.

Suddenly, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. Matthew 8:24

    Jesus was SLEEPING? Hold up, did I just read this correctly? If Jesus, the son of God could sleep during what the Bible describes as a "furious sea storm" and I can't get through a Monday without questioning my entire calling if I haven't had enough coffee & someone hasn't encouraged me, then I'm screwed. All joking aside, I don't know about you, but I've got so much to learn about inheriting God's peace as my own. I always considered myself a stable, grounded person growing up. I never went through any major trial and pretty much everything I've ever tried out for or attempted doing, I did successfully. All my life I heard "yes, yes, yes", until last year.

    The end of my 2nd year in the Mainstream Orlando Internship was coming to an end and I had applied for a 3rd year (which is a little harder to get accepted to in comparison with the first 2 years of the program) I was ready for whatever God had for me. I applied to become the Assistant Creative Arts Director and truly felt it was God's will for my life. I typed out my essay on why I should get the position eloquently and actually had peers say thing like "If you don't get, I know there's no hope for me". Everyone was rooting for me, but the week of final interviews came around and I began doubting if it was the best option anymore. Even though it sounded nice on paper, all peace about this as my next chapter was gone and I was suddenly questioning my future as a whole. I had no other ministry job lined up, but I couldn't shake this feeling that my time there was coming to a close. The time for my interview rolled around, and I didn't get accepted. I politely thanked the person I met with and stepped out to my uncertain future. I figured, I had a job I was a manager at, thank God for that, I would continue working as I planned my next step in pursuing full-time ministry and go from there. I trusted God, I still had peace (even though it was a little shaky at this point) and kept moving forward. I walked into work the next day, and 30 minutes into my shift, I got laid off. Okay.... WHAT? Um, hey God, it's me, Bee, is there something I'm doing wrong here?! I immediately called my boyfriend, bawling, confused, with any sense of peace out the window.

    Fast forward to present day, 8 months later, and I haven't had more peace then I have in this moment right now. Over the course of the last year I've had 3 different jobs, I got a free car, got in an accident 3 months later and lost that free car, in addition to a number of trials in my personal life. On the contrary, I'm closer to God than I've ever been, I've taken risks for God I never dreamed I would take, I've had many open doors in ministry, went to CHINA for 2 weeks on a missions trip (life-changing!) and I've quite simply experienced a level of joy I didn't think was possible in a season of so much uncertainty. Has life gotten easier since last year? Not even a little bit, but you know what, I've gotten stronger! It's because I've inhabited God's peace as my own. T.D. Jakes says this in his podcast "Trading Your Peace For His"

You can either sleep through the storm like Jesus, or you can worry. The more you worry, the more the enemy wins, there are some things only God can fix.

    I've learned that it is possible to have peace in the midst of storms, as a matter of fact, it's God's gift to us as his daughters. If we live with the assurance that Christ Himself establishes, orders and directs the course of our lives, every miniscule, microscopic detail, we will have that supernatural peace Jesus had on the boat. The kind of peace I can honestly say I have today. This kind of peace can only come through a lifestyle of seeking God through prayer and reading His Word constantly. Am I saying I'm perfect? No! Sometimes I check my phone only to realize it's 7pm and I haven't even spent alone time with God yet! I do know though, that you have to make a choice to seek God's face, His direction and His wisdom every day. When you live a life that is deep-rooted in God privately, your life in public will reflect that. I didn't become bitter when I didn't get into the 3rd year program, I actually did quite the opposite! I threw myself into church more than ever before. Continued acting in productions, serving the worship team, discipling students, and leading Fine Arts groups. I served (and still serve) the church that made me the woman I am today any way I can. I honestly don't think I would have started Daughters of Day, or a number of other ministry projects I've started on my own if that door hadn't have shut. God closes doors, so that better ones, more challenging ones can become available. Life can be so shaky, jobs get lost, loved ones pass away, diagnosis to life-threatening illnesses hit us out of nowhere, you get broken up with out of the blue, you fail your big exam, or you just wake up sad and don't know why. I want to let you know, wherever you're reading this today, that there is a peace that surpasses all human understanding, intelligence and wisdom available to you today. When hardship comes, you may bend, but you don't have to break. Here's what the Bible says about how much God cares about our needs.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen-don't you think He'll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you? What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. - Matthew 6:30

        That verse alone is enough to remind me to take a chill-pill and let God be God! My life and worries are not my burden to carry, they are His. I pray that whatever season you find yourself in today, you would inhabit God's heavenly peace in this very moment. I pray that you would lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus, and trust, really trust that the best, God's best, is yet to come. It's closer than you think! Thank you for visiting Daughters of Day, I pray this post was exactly the word you needed today! Be blessed in all you do, and keep fighting for peace.