The Heart Behind Transparency

I believe we live in a culture where at times, it’s hard to be transparent. When asked, “how are you”, we tend to reply with “good, how are you?”, yet we can be having the worst day ever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we need to share our feelings and hearts with every person we encounter. But I do think we should be open with someone whom we trust. I think that we become used to not being raw and open with people. We are afraid to be open because we’re too messy, too broken, and our reputations might shatter if we’re open with someone on our life and feelings. We live under the perception that we have to fake it til we make it. But there is freedom that comes with being transparent and I believe God wants us to be just that. I know God calls us to live in community; we aren’t meant to do life alone. We see that from the beginning of time in Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. You can see it throughout the Bible, where people do things together, they tackle armies together, tear down walls, or go to the unknown side by side. There’s power and greatness that comes with community.

1 Peter 1:22 “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.”

God desires for us to live in community, to love one another, to build each other up, and to be open and transparent with each other. As someone who’s a fairly open person, I struggled with real transparency. Transparency that’s raw, that digs down deep. I can be open about my not-so-great day or even be honest about a painful experience, but I couldn’t dare share my story. That was too embarrassing, too hurtful, and too much to share. Some of my friends - even the ones who I do life with - had never heard my testimony. It was too much for myself to bear, to even speak on that subject. I can’t say I’ve completely got over that, but it’s a work in process. God has given me the strength and courage to share with a few friends. As I shared my story with them, it helped bring me victory. Through transparency, I was able to see that my story isn’t who I am. My friends and more importantly God, doesn’t view me differently because of it. Through my openness, I was able to see that trusting another human being is more than okay- it’s part of God’s design for us to live in community.

There’s power in sharing our hearts and know that if a friend is truly for you, anything you have to say wouldn’t change their view on you. May it make them love you harder, deeper, and stronger. Keeping things locked up, just makes us more alone and isolated and we don’t have to fake it. I believe when we find someone that we can trust and feel safe around, there’s freedom that comes with it.

I hope you find someone you can trust, to be yourself with, and that they show you God’s love through your transparency. I know, it’s changed my life to be able to share my heart and story with a close friend. I’m grateful for the friend that I can call at 10am, with a sobbing voice, crying about how I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in life and my birthday is coming up, while I’m feeling older. See that’s messy, that’s isn’t pretty, but being transparent- I saw how my friend showed God’s love through it. Not only do we gain victory and freedom, but we never know who’s life might be changed by hearing your story. There’s a big sense of relief, when we’re aware someone completely understand where we’re coming from and had seen us go through situations in life where we’ve overcome. We are able to set others free and I pray there’s someone who you call friend, that helps you walk in the freedom that God desires for you!

Be encouraged to be open with a friend you trust, to dig deeper than surface level when it comes to transparency. I promise it’s one of the greatest things to know someone is for you and loves you despite your messiness, your situation, or your past! Daughters of Day believes life is better together and it truly is!