Will I Ever Feel Worthy?

Worthy. When it comes to Christianese (frequently used Christian terms), worthiness is one used in excess among Christian women. Almost every female-ran Christian blog, magazine article, song, Instagram, etc loves to remind women 24/7 that they’re worthy, called and have purpose. “Believe in yourself!” “Dump that guy!” “Know your worth!” “Just do you girl!” “God has a purpose for your life!”.  Women love to remind other women that feeling worthy is the most important trait a woman could have these days, and you know what? I couldn’t agree more. I to used hate overly encouraging, cliche Christian quotes, cheesy instagram posts, or overly emotional tweets from girls reminding other girls how “special” they are bla bla bla. Pretty ironic that God told me to start this blog for Christian women, by Christian women, because I tend to be a very un-emotional person. I struggled with insecurity like the average high-schooler, had my fair share of battles with my weight, wanting to constantly straighten or color my hair because I didn’t like it, feeling less then because I couldn’t afford Hollister from head to toe in my wardrobe like my peers, being one of the only black girls in a school of 80% caucasians, moving states halfway through high school and trying to recreate my look because I finally had a chance to start over somewhere new where no one knew who I was. These are all normal insecurities we have growing up, it’s part of the “high-school” experience, struggling to fit in. But what happens when those degrading, pesty little demons from the past follow you as you get older?  

    Before you can know your worth, you have to deal with your past. Attack your issues and inner-demons head on. Pull the skeletons in your closet into broad daylight and address them for what they are. If you don’t find a state of closure with your insecurities, your painful wounds from the past will bleed into every area of your life. They will negatively affect your romantic relationships, your family, your job, your friendships, and your relationship with God.... Look inward, and deal with the source of the problem, you. If you know yourself, truly know yourself, you’ll know your worth. You’ll know the kind of guy you want to be with, someone who loves you exactly as you are right now with your messy past, your current mess, and loves you consistently despite that. If you know your worth, you’ll refuse to settle for any man less than that. You’ll know the kind of person you want to work for and won’t settle for being mistreated another minute. You’ll know the career you want and won’t settle for the easy way out just to get a quick paycheck. You’ll know the opportunities you deserve and work your butt off to get there, no matter the cost. You’ll keep the people in your life that deserve to be there. Friends that make you happy, and care about your dreams and the future you desire to create for yourself, not just what you can do for them.

    Worthiness is the hardest trait in my opinion any woman can attain, because it doesn’t happen instantly. I believe you can attain faith instantly, if you see God miraculously heal someone in a wheelchair, or cure your relative from cancer, or open that door for your dream job, your faith will jump leaps and bounds in an instant. I believe you can attain love instantly. One significant moment between you and someone else could create a bond of love. People often say they knew the exact moment in their relationship they fell in love with their significant other. You can attain strength at a fast rate, trials make you strong, and sometimes a trial can last 2 months, or 2 days, but 99% of the time you leave that trial stronger than you were before. Worth on the other hand, takes time, because you will typically endure some form of mistreatment, and as a result realize you were/are worth more than what you endured, or are still presently enduring. Worthiness is something females usually attain after a breakup, and since February is the love month, I couldn’t think of a more perfect time to cover this topic.

     I can honestly say I haven’t truly ever felt worthy until about 2 weeks ago, which sounds crazy, I know! I recently went through a tough trial that forced me to look inward and analyze if I was proud of the person I am right now. Not just proud of my success, but if I was proud of who I am, the way I look, my talents and my character right now in the season I’m in. Through prayer and fasting I can honestly say I know what I am worth. I know the love I deserve, I know the future I want, I know the education I want, I know the kind of wife I want to be and the kind of marriage I want to be in. I know myself, and as a result, I actually know the future I want. More important, I know the future and life I’m worthy of. A life of joy, a life of consistency, a life of dependability, a life of success, a life of integritya life that is pleasing to God. I know what I want because I know who I am. Not just who I am, but Who’s I am. My pastor Sonia Figueroa, tweeted this the other day and it has been on my mind ever since..

“I think part of the reason we hold onto things so tight is because we’re afraid something so great won’t happen twice.”

If you don’t know your WORTH, you’ll stay in a dead relationship and keep waiting for a change to happen that will never happen. If you don’t know your WORTH, you’ll continue to be mistreated in your workplace because a paycheck is more important than your dignity.

If you don’t know your WORTH, you’ll always accept 2nd best in every area of your life.

That’s just it. Plain and simple.

    Worthiness is defined in the dictionary as:

  • deserving effort, attention, or respect.
  • having enough value or excellence.

    The root of this whole post is based on these definitions! You are ENOUGH, right now, this very moment. You are deserving of effort, attention and RESPECT. Don’t settle for anything less than that. When you adopt these values and mantras as your own, you’ll wake up on top of the world, ready to achieve success and walking in a spirit of victory and God-given confidence. Your worth isn’t found in a MAN, a JOB, or a FRIENDSHIP. I challenge you right now to take a moment to analyze the areas of your life where you may be settling, and make a choice today to leave that negative situation. Worth is found in Christ, Jesus died so that we could live victorious, bold lives. Accepting anything less than that is a disgrace to Him. Work hard, love hard, experience all life has to offer, because it’s so short. Most importantly, know your worth.

Xoxo,

Bee